telerib: (Default)
"'Aguilera completely dissed both the ramparts and the fact that they were gallantly streaming.'

No, you did. You have dissed the ramparts and must apologize.

You remember sentence analysis from school? Please go read the first verse of the Star Spangled Banner. It is the "broad stripes and bright stars" on the flag (the song is about the flag you know) that were "gallantly streaming."

Not the ramparts. Ramparts do not stream unless one is hallucinating, or perhaps if a nuclear weapon has gone off nearby.

Hint: the song is about the flag surviving a battle at a fort, so maybe a rampart is some sort of fortification right? Bigger hint: use a dictionary if you don't know what a rampart is. Giant hint in the internet age: google > "define: rampart"."
- "chris111," commentor at the Washington Post, in response to Jen Chaney's short piece on the national anthem as sung at the Super Bowl. I'm just... wow.
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"If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one."
- Blogger Cop's Wife on her 5-year old son's decision to go as Daphne from Scooby-Doo for Halloween.
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"I want to dress up my dollies and then use them to kill things, and maybe save the world or whatever."
- A forum-goer discusses video game character customization with disarming honesty.
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"Saltwater crocodiles, once they get hold of you, are not renowned for letting you go."
- Malcolm Douglas, owner of some sort of crocodile park in Australia, commenting on the good luck of one very drunk man who decided to go for a crocodile ride.
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"I'm constantly surprised, impressed, and disturbed by your skills at perceiving marginal butts from a great distance."
- Jennifer Lynn Jordan comments on co-blogger* Carl Pyrdum's superpower.

*Okay, it's Carl's 'Got Medieval?" blog and JLJ is guest blogging (but she has her own Bad Medieval Movies blog!) but that's a little long for an attribution.
telerib: (Default)
"There is some delay in the replication of our data, so our operational data, our sequence of events ends at 3 o'clock in the afternoon on the 20th."
- Steven Newman, president and CEO of Transocean Ltd, tries to explain the gap in his records to a Senate panel.

Is there any earthly reason for a seven-hour delay? There may be no Internet connectivity out there, I suppose... was satellite communication service not available? Is there no technology for faxing data via radio? Or is this as fishy as it sounds? It's definitely criminally poor design, if there was at all a requirement to preserve data to diagnose these kinds of failures.
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"For all its clunky satire, this is not a particularly original objection to the corrosive effects of ecclesiastical organization. (See: Reformation.)"
- Ron Charles at WaPo reviews Philip Pullman's The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ.
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"Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape?"
- "A Mommy's Old Testament"
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- Marianne Kirby, aka The Rotund, on what she thinks when an underwire snaps.

I admit an unseemly fondness for the word "boob."
telerib: (Default)
"Obama calls for tighter control of derivatives"
- The AP fails to mention the president's stand on integrals and infinite series.
telerib: (Default)
"Science will fuck you!"
- Battle cry of Doc Vukovic of Ignition City.

This should totally be the motto of the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.
telerib: (Default)
"Bears have scent detection that is far superior to bloodhounds! Trained bears with GPS and day/night cameras around their necks might be able to hunt down the scent of UBL, even in and through any caves and tunnels!!! Overnight, Parachute some bears into areas UBL might be. Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing."
- A concerned citizen takes a break from playing his Servitor of Animals in an In Nomine game to let the DoD know about the revolutionary tactics his group has brainstormed.
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"How do we address the issue of the pot-smoking tiger with our children?"
- An advice-seeker queries's Dear Prudence.
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"Stage directions will include: 'SARAH fires gun. MOOSE dies.'"
- Eugene Robinson ponders a Sarah Palin musical at the Washington Post.
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"Why is the toilet paper angry?"
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"Is this news to you that this guy's one fry short of a Happy Meal?"
- Rep. Anthony Weiner, commenting on previous QOTD contributor Alan Grayson's latest bon motte, in which he called an aide a "K Street whore."
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"But by the way, when he was done speaking, did he just then turn into a bat and fly away?"
- Rep. Alan Grayson apparently confuses former VP Dick Cheney with Silver Screen actor Lon Chaney, Jr.
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"Heene believes the world is going to end in 2012. Because of that, he wanted to make money quickly, become rich enough to build a bunker or something underground, where he can be safe from the sun exploding."
- Robert "I sold Balloon Boy hoax evidence to Gawker" Thomas' attorney, Linda Lee, gives Heene's supposed motive, demonstrating extreme credulity on someone's part.
telerib: (Default)
"That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me?"
- NASA's LCROSS probe, twittering a Douglas Adams reference just before it impacted the moon last Friday.
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"If I went to some Mayan-speaking communities and asked people what is going to happen in 2012, they wouldn't have any idea. That the world is going to end? They wouldn't believe you. We have real concerns these days, like rain."
-- Jose Huchim, a Yucatan Mayan archaeologist, on the 2012 apocalypse.

August 2014

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