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MEGA-Lobster!
Mar. 2nd, 2005 10:16 amSeriously. The thing is like, three feet long and may be 100 years old.
Can you imagine? Spending 100 years on the ocean floor, building your crustacean empire, planning expansions and conquests, forcing tributes from the migratory fish schools... turning yourself from a tiny prawn into a Big Fish in the Biggest Pond of all.
And then you fall into some stupid lobster trap. Probably not all the way in, because they're not designed for something of your immense size. But your tail or three of your legs gets caught, and you're too ponderously slow and clumsy to do anything about it. I mean, you might be the Machiavelli of the ocean, but you still have the motor coordination of a lobster.
And now you're in an aquarium. Granted, there are some minions to do your bidding, but they've bound your mighty claws so you can't properly snap them in twain if they offend you. The food is good, though, and there's lots of it. But is that enough? Are you really ready to retire and enjoy a slow life of feedings interspersed with casually terrorizing lesser creatures in your tank?
You built an empire once; you can do it again, even if it takes another one hundred years! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Can you imagine? Spending 100 years on the ocean floor, building your crustacean empire, planning expansions and conquests, forcing tributes from the migratory fish schools... turning yourself from a tiny prawn into a Big Fish in the Biggest Pond of all.
And then you fall into some stupid lobster trap. Probably not all the way in, because they're not designed for something of your immense size. But your tail or three of your legs gets caught, and you're too ponderously slow and clumsy to do anything about it. I mean, you might be the Machiavelli of the ocean, but you still have the motor coordination of a lobster.
And now you're in an aquarium. Granted, there are some minions to do your bidding, but they've bound your mighty claws so you can't properly snap them in twain if they offend you. The food is good, though, and there's lots of it. But is that enough? Are you really ready to retire and enjoy a slow life of feedings interspersed with casually terrorizing lesser creatures in your tank?
You built an empire once; you can do it again, even if it takes another one hundred years! MUAHAHAHAHA!
