String theory even I can understand

From I Can Has Cheezburger?, natch.

New styling product gives uneven results

It may be time to return to the short haircut, if only because I've needed to wash baby spitup out of my long tresses twice in three days. Also, he's learned to grab it. Ouch!

Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

No, seriously: This is coming out of the Vatican. "Shut the &^%*! up and drive" curiously absent.