telerib | Random Complications

Awoken from its infinite-loop stupor, THE Computer glady assisted the gradthings. The cats, as it turned out, were all tracked (somehow: whether by collar or implanted chip was left unclear). And the kitties were congregated on the Biology tree.

At THE Computer's advice, the group stopped by WUSE to pick up Really Big Guns (which none of them knew how to use) and some body armor. The zebra-haired gradthing working the stockroom took a personal interest in fitting Edward and Solomon's armor, to the gentlemen's pleasant surprise.

Onward to the Bio Building... unfortunately, the path cut right across the re-enactment the Student Union and the Student Confederacy were holding. Solomon, absorbed in composing an ode to the armorer, entirely missed the Battle of the Crater shaping up around him. Greh's frantic shrieks (the microbe's robot suit was tucked into a bandolier Solomon was wearing) alerted him to the peril too late!

During the American Civil War, the Union (?) decided it would win a particular battle by digging a big hole under the Confederate lines and filling it full of explosives. The explosion would knock a hole in the Confederate line and give the Union the advantage. The crater happened (hence, Battle of the Crater), but the tactic was largely unsuccessful.

If we had to sit through the history lecture, so do you, dear reader.

Anyway, Solomon and Greh found themselves flying through the air over campus. Aside from being aerial, they were unhurt - the armor had done its job. Wasn't that the stadium they were heading for?

The other gradthings watched this flight and noted its terminal point. DelMonte and Edward looked at each other and recalled that today was "Gladiators for the Common Good," a popular charity event. Admission was charged in canned goods. Swinging by the College of Magic, they snagged a vending machine full of cans -- cans of WhupAss. The vending machine was also borderline sentient and mobile, but a tentacle down its coin slot convinced it that it really, really wanted to spend some more time with DelMonte. All three proceeded at speed to the stadium.

Solomon was really rather good at landing. Rolling across... sand? the armor mostly tore itself off - it was so fried it was simply falling apart. Getting up, the young man found himself in a scene that looked distressing like the setup for a slave-gladiator fight back home. When something large and unpleasant roared behind him, he didn't even look back. With Greh screaming encouragement, he ran... almost smack into what was, sure enough, a gladiator. Net, trident, whole nine yards.

The man... er, ogre, perhaps? He was something like seven feet tall... seemed, for no real reason at all, to be very keen on putting the trident in some singularly unhealthy places. Solomon managed to avoid the net and get the trident away from him - then promptly took a sharp blow from a fist the size of his head. Suddenly aware that, even weaponless, this wasn't going to go well for him, Solomon abandoned all pretense of fighting fair and aimed that lowest blow.

It landed - hard. The ogre curled up whimpering on the sand, his back visible for the first time. The letters DUD were printed across the shoulders of his armor. The crowd gave a collective gasp...

Edward, DelMonte, and the vending machine made it to the gates. DelMonte and the vending machine finished up, and the machine let out a spray of cans of WhupAss. Two satisfied the guys collecting donations; DelMonte and Edward took the rest. Hurrying down a dark corridor, they were stopped at its end by an iron portcullis. They could see Solomon in the arena, with Greh still tucked into his bandolier... and the fallen opponent.

DUD, they both knew, was the fraternity to which members of the Team belong. And "Gladiators for Good Causes" was a Team Ilumni event!

Across the sands, a very, very large door opened to admit the next combatant. Another ogre. Or, rather, another Ogre. The enormous battle-tank rumbled out into the arena, firing lasers. Audience members seemed to be discharging weapons as well...

The first volley missed Solomon - but barely. Very barely - it hit Greh, riding in the bandolier! The force sent the robot body flying with enough force to embed it, head first, in the arena wall. Legs kicking, Greh tried to extract himself, but wasn't immediately successful.

DelMonte, thinking it might help, popped open a can of WhupAss - and chugged it. Edward narrowly missed being splattered when the amorph exploded.

Still, inspiration was inspiration. He wedged two cans of the stuff into the portcullis and prepared to fire on them with his Really Big Gun.

As it ended up, the Ogre did that for him, blasting the portcullis all to heck and back.

By that time, Greh had wiggled itself loose. Solomon put the robot on his shoulder before dashing for the open portcullis. Wanting to return to the security of the bandolier, Greh shoved out one of the cartridges. The ones with the planet under the red circle with a line through it...

DelMonte had just finished pulling his/her/itself together when the other two hit the doorway. All four took off through the corridor at high speed. Back in the arena, one of the Ogre's turrets swiveled to regard the shell...

All four kept running as the stadium blasted off from earth, sailing higher and higher into the sky... until, inevitably, it had to come back down again. Upside down.

After that, the trip to the Bio Building was uneventful. It seemed whatever had drawn the cats to the tree had lost their attention. As they approached, they saw cats slinking down the sides of the tree and cats emerging from the elevators.

Well, there were the cats. Greh and DelMonte suggested that they were done: they were to find the cats, and the cats were here. The ArchDean could be contacted, and they were done. Right?

Well... almost. The job of contacting Her ArchDeanship fell to Solomon, who couldn't help but noticed a note of concern in her voice. Then, of course, the young gallant had to ask about it. And the ArchDean said she'd explain if they'd all just wait there for a moment...

She appeared at the Bio Building seconds later. Something, she explained, was not quite right. How did she not know about the attack, on her campus, where she knew everything? How did she not know where her cats were? How was THE Computer tricked into an infinite loop so easily, and why didn't it contact her about the cats as soon as it recovered? These things troubled her...

Troubles only increased when they found what had attracted the cats to the tree. The tree was littered with scorch marks - the cats' doing, the ArchDean assured them. The cats were a vital part of the campus's defense systems. High up in the tree, they found the problem: a Mundane field! DelMonte fled to the safety of the elevator and Edward stayed clear as well; it could make him assume his natural shape, and he wasn't really sure what his natural shape was. Greh's high-tech risked being turned into toys or movie props, so it stayed outside the field as well - but he did calculate its exact center, and remotely directed Solomon to it. There, he found a small metal capsule - one of the life pods from the saucer. The ArchDean sighed and entered the Mundane field. A brilliant display of hot-white fireworks followed her progress through it, til she stood at the center and held out a small felt bag. The pod went in the bag, and the field collapsed.

Felt blocks Mundanity, apparently.

The ArchDean thanked them all for their help and they were prepared to go on their way, when... well, she was frowning just the tiniest bit. Solomon had to ask what was wrong. Well, the mysteries of before had not been cleared up in the slightest, and there were still possibly two Mundane fields operating on campus. Since the group had done so well with the first task... and there would be further compensation, of course...

And so the adventurers of our sucke... er, heroes continues...