Fashion Rant IV: Bras

There are two kinds of bras: utilitarian and decorative. Today, class, we address the utilitarian bra, in a rant of two parts.

Part I: Burning Hate

The bra is the one, the only feminine garment that nominally conforms to some logical sizing pattern. You measure around the torso, under the breasts - there's your band size. (Or it's that number plus four or some other voodoo, but still. A calculable number.) You measure around your breasts and subtract off your torso, and there's your cup size. (1 inch difference = A cup, 2 inch difference = B cup, etc.)

Would it kill them to actually, you know, use this sizing protocol?

Part II: Professional Unease

Utilitarian bras do two things: provide support and hide nipples. One of these things is for the physical comfort of the wearer. The other is for the social comfort of the people around her.

Not all of us are so easily hidden. To keep my co-workers from the sudden uncomfortable knowledge that I have a pair, I buy "soft cup" bras made out of an eight of an inch of foam. This has worked moderately well for a few years now.

Well, your chest expands when you get pregnant. And I just expanded right over to the "full figured" rack (rack of garments in the store, you), which is surprisingly bereft of foam cups. (I guess they figure full-figured don't need the padding?) Everything's thin cotton.

And from an email sent by Physical Plant this morning? "LOW BUILDING TEMPERATURES." Seems we have a steam plant problem.

*facepalm*

I suppose I just need to suck it up and shop around to find something suitable. I just resist blowing half a day at the mall shopping for something that isn't even fun.