Mar. 8th, 2007

29/40: Meh

Mar. 8th, 2007 09:00 am
telerib: (Default)
Week 29: Still pregnant.

I have to admit, I'm not loving it. I'm not hating it, either, but there are definite physical inconveniences and I'm having a hard time relating to a Spud I can't see.

The frequent waking, insomnia, and back pain are the worst, I think, from a physical point-of-view. Following closely are the nearly random, sudden attacks of vomit. Everything's fine and suddenly, POW, dinner's in the sink. It's not the day-long misery of the first trimester, but it's disconcerting and I (probably unjustly) blame the Spud. Why do you do this to Mommy?

I know, I know: a 29 week old fetus is not capable of forming the intention to make me ill, much less actually cause it to happen at his command. Still. I wasn't having these issues in July, mister.

Thankfully, heartburn is (for now) not so much of a problem. It was bad for a week or two, until I discovered that I need to eat very frequently. I don't have to eat much - a banana will do, or some crackers, or a pudding cup. But every hour or two, something has to go into the hopper to give the acid something to work on.

I guess I just haven't found much that I like about being pregnant. When evaluating it, I find that the closer I feel to my non-pregnant state, the more likely I am to say that I feel good. Everything that doesn't hurt, that still works like it's supposed to, is a positive point; everything that's changed is a negative - this hurts, that feels stretched and bloated, dear God I can't tie my shoes. I was already blessed with good skin, hair, and an abundant bosom, so those typically-cited pregnancy bennies haven't made much of an impression on me.

It certainly hasn't been a particularly spiritual experience. That may be a case of getting out of it what you put into it, but I guess with all the "wonders of pregnancy" hype I was sort of expecting some direct channel to the Earth Mother to open up all on its own, and flood me with warm maternal fuzzies. Nyet.

Sigh. I always test so middle-of-the-road on those two-bit personality tests, including the ones for gender. Not unexpected in a tech geek female, one supposes. And some days, I do wonder if what I'm feeling fits more into the daddy experience than the mommy one. Spud feels most real when I'm shopping for his crib or putting together a bookshelf so we can move gaming stuff out of his nursery - you know, doing things to prepare for his arrival. After the novelty wore off, I can sometimes almost forget that the kicking is him and not some part of me.
telerib: (Default)
"Some weigh more than 20 pounds and have been known to go after ducks in the lake."
- ABC News reports on 'hybrid fish created by Saddam Hussien'. No word on if the fish had laserbeams strapped to their frickin' foreheads.
telerib: (uhh)
I wonder how much of my negative mood today stems from last night's insomnia?

Sleep is so huge for me. A lack of sleep absolutely affects my perception of everything around me; my usual optimism erodes and my patience goes to hell. I get cranky.

Only good news is, the pattern seems to be 2-4 nights of lousy sleep, followed by a profoundly exhausted night of mediocre sleep, which makes me feel better for a day or two. So it shouldn't be an unending downward spiral into Zombie Bitch Land.

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