The price of man's dignity

Kate Price (aka Jordan) is something like England's answer to Paris Hilton, but with less money and a larger chest. She apparently got married in some reality show-esque, Barbie fairy tale pink spectacle (barely SFW at the Fug Girls). A string quartet (plus drummer) was apparently hired.

Wow, I hope they double-charged.

(The pic at the Fug Girls' site is some other crazed Brit's wedding; more pictures of Price's shebang are available via a link on their site, but there's a barely SFW Playboy cover at the bottom of the linked page.)

My opponent is clever and wily

Fun Fact 1: Babies pee when their diapers are off.

This is a commonly-known Fun Fact. Read any baby book, and it will tell you this. Furthermore, it will suggest that, for baby boys, you cover their penis with a spare diaper or a baby washcloth or something so that you don't get hosed down. This is excellent advice.

Fun Fact 2: Baby boys have studied Sun Tzu and Patton to learn techniques to get around spare diapers and baby washcloths.

No one saw fit to mention this Fun Fact in any of the baby books, so I'll just pass it along.