Gimme gimme gimme

[telerib]

At some point in the next few months, Moe and I will start a wedding registry somewhere. At some point after that, we'll send out wedding invitations.

I have, in the past, received invitations with any number of enclosures. Typically, hotel information, directions, and (gasp) a registry card. This has never unduly concerned me, nor struck me as either rude or mercenary. This is useful, wedding-related information. And with stamps closing in on $0.50 each, who wants to afford a second mailing?

But, every etiquette maven out there assures me, including such things - especially the registry card - is Not Done. Including maps and whatnot to local guests smacks of the mass-mailing; easily fixed, leave those things out of the local invitations. But the cards! Zounds, that's like begging for money. Guests shouldn't feel obligated to give gifts.

Well, of course they shouldn't. But something like 85% of them are going to want to know where I'm registered. Is my maid of honor seriously supposed to field the calls of the entire guest list to pass on this information?

I can see the point. Really. But the... inefficiency of the traditional word-of-mouth method grates on my little engineering soul.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

But etiquette was not meant to be efficient :)
Preet

[cmccurry.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, we won't think less of you for telling us where you are registered. -:-)

[(Anonymous)]

Hmmm... a wedding registry card would help remind Steve & I that gifts are appropriate - and would make it less likely that we'd put off asking about the registry until after the wedding - and then forget about it entirely, which is what happened for the last 2-3 weddings we attended....

BTW, as a reminder, I (Sarah) am posting anonymously, so you'll have to clear this message before anyone else sees it.

[telerib.livejournal.com]

Tell you what... I'll photocopy the "Wedding Guest Etiquette" chapter out of Emily Post and include it in your invitation. :)

Include the registry info

[hueffmea.livejournal.com]

This seems to me to be one of those places where the whole etiquette thing falls shore. Etiquette would say that you should bring a gift. Now are you going to be upset if someone doesn't? No not at all, but If we are strictly going by etiquette standards all of your guests will bring gifts. Now they want to follow the etiquette standard and you want to follow the etiquette standard but that means that you can't let people know what you want because they (might)feel obligated to get it for you. On the other hand they already feel obligated and are now in the quandary of what to get you. It's also well known that it's in poor taste to ask someone what they want for a present. You are supposed to know them so well that you know what they want. This whole line of thought is ridiculous and causes nothing but headaches.
Bottom line. We're going to be getting you presents anyway and even though we are your friends that doesn't mean we know what theme you've picked out for your bathroom linens, so give us a break and help us out a little.

Re: Include the registry info

[(Anonymous)]

*agrees* Yep, please include the info. Make it small, make it "hey you dont have to" whatever... etiquette schmettiquette. Omit it for the inlaws if you really worry about it.

Ps: so will that chocolate fondue fountain end up on the list?

- Hiddenshoe (That non drinking german friend of yours. I'm trying not to plaster my name all over the 'net.)

[telerib.livejournal.com]

The chocolate fountain's just being rented for the reception. I don't think I need one of those in my life full-time. :)

Non-drinking? You? Since when?

well

[(Anonymous)]

well I might've exaggerated. But it's not like I'm in a stupor most nights after binging on the keg the neighbor kids brought over. *most* nights anyway.

*hic*

Oh wait, just drunk on chocolate. Sorry, false alarm.

- Hiddenshoe